Shattered
This bottle is my 7th now
Still it didn't bring me down
I've put all my faith into these
Still no feeling of bliss
I hope to redeem this heart
Until my heart drowns
Shattered
I'm slowly breaking
Shattered
Into a million pieces
Shattered
Who's gonna save me (2x)
From breaking...
I feel so lost
I'm feeling desperate
Until I found another bottle beside me
Will this save me?
No it won't
Will it save me
Maybe it will
From breaking
Shattered
I'm slowly breaking
Shattered
Into a million pieces
Shattered
Who's gonna save me (2x)
From breaking...
I kept on drinking
Until I felt sinking
Into a long awaited slumber
While my body got number
The bottle fell down
It shattered
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125,012 Literary Works • 672,842 Reviews
Bah, you need music for this. Similar tone to "Lilac Wine", on similar subject matter, if you've heard it, Jeff Buckley did a version of it. :
http://www.sing365.com/music/lyric.nsf/ ... 840027004F
See, it's kind of drunken, melancholic, rambling. Like yours, the persona is pissed after a relationship's ended, seeking redemption at the bottom of a bottle, but the imagery doesn't suffer.. too much anyway.
That's a good line though, that one's v good. Your lyrics do not slay without the music, but I don't know what the music does, so the song itself could slay.